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Vanilla Eyes and Others |
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Conform To The Norm |
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| Blinkered | ||
| STOP | ||
| Who, What Am I? | ||
| Never Ending Night | ||
| Along With My Thoughts | ||
| The Feeling Of Doom |
This section is called "Vanillas Eyes".
I know that there are many who we affectionately call vanillas (people not in the lifestyle)
who are accepting and understand our lifestyle but unfortunatly not all.
The reaction i have felt from others to my lifestyle has prompted to to write the
poems in this section
I feel these poems give us all something for all to think about.
This section also contains poems that just dont fit in anywere else.
One day you may walk into a room
And people say to you
What you like is not what is right
What are you going to do
Do you say ok I stop then
And then just walk away
Or do you say stop, hold on now
I live my life my way
Would you be able to argue
To tell them who you are
To claim the right to be yourself
To stand up for what you are
That is what i do here today
i am a submissive
i do not conform to the norm
i live my life my way
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They don’t understand they don’t want to
They don’t see it as it is
They see only what they want to
They don’t see the love
They don’t give the space to explain it
They don’t try to see our point of view
They judge without knowledge
They condem both me and You
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Stop and see our love
Stop and take some time
Stop and try to see it
Stop having a closed mind
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Do I try to explain
Or do I deny
Who I am what I am
Do I try to hide
Not let them see
Who I am what I am
Do I try to run
and so run from
Who I am what I am
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Poems that dont fit into any other area
In the day I cope
With the problems
but at night,
Oh at night.
In the darkness, the moon light,
how the stillness makes things grow,
and my emotions in full flow.
As I toss and turn,
unable to sleep,
in the darkness of the night,
I leave my bed,
but not my fears
I roam the house,
look out the window,
look at the stillness
but none within.
I feel the tears
but do not understand them,
irrational awakening dreams
of family, friends and loved ones,
of future and of past.
longing for the morning.
longing for sleep.
longing for the end.
of the never ending night
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There is a ring on my finger
Yet you are not home
Our children sleep soundly
As I sit alone
You say that you’re working
All day and into the night
For us, your family
To give us, things we like
But you are what we want
To share what we have
A complete family
Including the dad
Is this the real reason?
I ask all the time
For your pay checks no bigger
Yet you work all the time
If this work has a name
I do not want to know her
No confrontations
No blame or hate
All I want is my husband
The father of my kids
To be home with us
Sharing what we have
If you are not seeing
The love from us to you
Then I apologise
I will try harder but
Being a mum is not easy
My life it has changed to
You seem so far from me
Is it her or is it you?
May be I am wrong
And work does not have a name
You stay away
Not to be with her
But to be away from me
I look at the clock
I look at the door
Another night alone with my thoughts.
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It’s a feeling on your shoulder
It's the colour grey
It's dampness but not cold
It's weighted but not heavy
It's all consuming
It takes total control
The feeling of doom